The Garden Special Entry

The Garden by Ezra Pound is an amazing piece of work and is something that I view as informative and also inspirational. This is a short Poem begins with something that says, “En robe de parade”. This translates as “dressed for show”. The poem begins by talking about the stature of the primary focus of the poem, a woman. He first describes her as a skein of silk. A Skein, is a length of thread or yarn that is loosely coiled and knotted. He describes the way in which she walks in Kensington Gardens as “… a skein of loose silk blown against a wall She walks by the railing of the path in Kensington Gardens.” The way in which I interpret or envision the way in which this woman is walking is very sluggish and perhaps with little dignity or pride. Could this be a reflection of what she is feeling inside? Could this be a reflection of the way in which others have treated her? I think so.

Next, it states “And she is dying piecemeal of a sort of emotional anemia”. Piecemeal means partially taken over a period of time. As I read this, I believe that Pound is trying to paint the picture of a woman who has slowly had her life taken from her. Perhaps it has been from a sickness, but as I continue to read the poem, I begin to believe that it is not her life that has been slowly taken from her, but her emotions. When is says “a sort of emotional anemia”, I picture a woman who has been completely drained of all energy, and even life. The definition of anemia is a condition marked by the deficiency of red blood cells resulting in pallor and weariness. This woman, who is walking through the Kensington Gardens has been stripped of all emotions and it is leaving her weary and broken.

When I think about this, I wander, what has come over this woman that has brought her to this point in her life? Has the love of her life betrayed her, and left her with nothing to live for? Has all the stability that she has ever felt been swept from her? These are all questions that I ask myself as I read through this poem.

I think that this text needs to be interpreted and looked at closely, in order to fully grasp what the author intended. It would be easy to simply glance over this piece of work and not grasp the underlying theme or message that I believe the author intended for us to grasp.

In the third stanza it says, “In her is the end of breeding. Her boredom is exquisite and excessive. She would like some one to speak to her, And is almost afraid that I will commit that indiscretion.” I would like to focus in on the last two lines. “She would like some one to speak to her, And is almost afraid that I will commit that indiscretion.” I think that this is perhaps the climax of the piece. The point in the poem where the reader understands what point the author is trying to get across. After I read this poem several times, I began to look at what it was saying from a different point of view. As I read this line I began to view this woman that he is referring to as someone who is lonely. I realized that People are lonely or perhaps “different” in the eyes of others, want someone to speak to them, but are somewhat afraid that someone will. They do not what others to see who they really are.

As I realize this, I question myself. I ask myself, who am I noticing that needs love? Who am I noticing that needs attention? Sometimes these are the hardest people to love, and to reach out to. However, most of the time, these are the people who need that love the most. They often do not have hope, they often do not have joy, and they often do not have someone to care about their personal feelings. I ask myself if I am doing anyone to reach out to others. Do I even take the time to begin to notice people who seem discouraged, or alone?

There are people who are just like this woman in this poem, and they encircle us every day. They long for acceptance. They long for love. They long to have someone to talk to them.

As I looked even more into this poem, I began to see something more. Perhaps this particular woman that is being discussed, has a lot of material possessions, but is lacking in something very important, relationships. Perhaps she is rich and sophisticated. Although she has several material objects that fill her life, she feels empty inside. People figure she has relationships in her life, simply because of her outward appearance, and because of this, no one even attempts to get to know her.

As I walk away from reading this poem and conducting this exercise, I walk away with more than simple words that were written down for my enjoyment. I leave with a greater understanding of the feelings of others. Often times when I feel lonely, I figure that I am the only one who ever experiences these feelings. However, in reality, there are people who are feeling lonely that are all around me, every day. Perhaps if I take a moment and begin looking to others, and tried to bless them, then my mind would be removed off myself, and I would begin to bless others.

I must ask myself, who am I noticing that needs attention, who am I noticing that needs love? I must then take these words and transform them into actions.

Who are you blessing today, who really needs it?

I am using my pass today.

Waiting.... on God... Waiting on His voice

During class today, Professor Corrigan presented several things that challenged me to think about my life and my relationship with God. One thing that Professor Corrigan said during his mini lecture was “I take [the text] as an absolutely spiritual text.” He also said, “I see it as those without faith. I also see it as a test of faithfulness. Waiting for god, even when we can’t see God.”

Professor Corrigan left us with the thought, God is already here waiting for us, are we looking for him? When I think about this question, I ask myself, what I think is the greater question at hand. I ask myself whether I am actually taking the time to look for God, within the craziness of life. You see, for me personally, it is usually not an issue of waiting and not seeing God. For me, it is an issue of taking the time to stop. To stop moving, to stop my mind from running, and to stop talking. This, however, is easier said, then done.

I once heard that hope is the ability to listen to the music in the future, and faith is the ability to dance to the music in the present. Within Waiting for Godot I have seen the theme of both hope and of faith. Perhaps it is more of a lack of hope, and a lack of faith that I have seen within the characters of this play. This play definitely has a deeper meaning than it first appears. It seems somewhat worthless when you first begin reading it. It also seems confusing, because you truly do not know what is going on.

However, as I read more into the play, and watch the movie of the play, I can see how the two characters lives, relate to this life that I am living right now. There are times that I feel like I have lost all hope, just like the two characters seem to have done. There are also times that my faithfulness has been put to the test. I have been asked whom I am faithful to, and whom I am loyal to.

This all goes back to trusting and waiting on God, even when I cannot see God. What am I going to do with this life that he has given me? Am I going to wait on him? Am I going to take the time to discover him, and be quiet long enough for him to speak to me? These are all questions that the text Waiting for Godot urges you to ask yourself, and also, to eventually answer.

The end of the story is so unclear, but there is a reason

As I read through the play Waiting for Godot I have been noticing a theme of waiting for the unknown. As a reader, it is somewhat frustrating to not exactly understand what is going on within the story. I have felt very confused, most of the time that I have been reading this play. I do not understand what they are talking about, and I do not understand where everything is leading.

However, as I think about how I feel when I am reading this play, I can easily relate that feeling to life. There is a parallel in reading Waiting for Godot, and life and my relationship with Jesus. I often wander where God is taking me in life, or even why he is taking me a certain way in life. I often wander why God has taken me from Ohio, and lead me all the way down to Florida to attend college. I hate being so far from my family, but this does not take away from the fact that God has called me here, and I am following in obedience.

There are days in which I feel like there is no way that this path is getting me anywhere remotely close to where I want to be. But that is just the thing, it is not about where I want to be. This life is not my own. I don’t want it to be my own, because I would be lost on my own.

So as I read Waiting for Godot and I continue to be confused about what is going on within the story, I also sit with excitement, because the author is not going to leave us hanging. In the end, we will understand why everything was unclear. In the same way, in my life, I sit with excitement, because this journey that God has brought me on is an experience that I will never forget and it is a blessing that I have God leading me on it. At the end of life, I will understand why everything was so unclear throughout my life. As I continue to feel unsure of my next step in life, I will continue to hold tight to the promises that God has given me. For in the end, I believe it will be worth it all.

We were created to be relational beings!!!

While reading through Waiting for Godot, a line at the end of act I stood out to me. This line is when Estragon says, “Wait! I sometimes wonder if we wouldn’t have been better off alone, each one for himself.” This reminds me of something that I have thought about often throughout the past several years.

I know that I am reliant on different people in my life. I am probably too reliant on people at certain times, but either way, I find strength in spending time with others. Even if I am the one pouring into the other person, others fuel me. Company fuels me. Throughout life, however, I have often looked at this as being a weakness. The fact that I rely on someone often stands at to me as being needy, and not independent. Now, to a point, this can be true. We need to have independence, and we need to be able to survive, even if it is just you and God left.

However, as we went through the week in October called Fire Fall, my views on this subject began to change. We began to learn about community, and the importance of community. God created us to be relational people; therefore we should be just that, Relational! Erwin McManus spoke about this and encouraged me. He talked about how we were created to go through this life with others. We were created to have community. We were created to share tears of sadness and tears of joy. We were not supposed to cry on our own. We were not supposed to laugh on our own. God placed others on this earth so that we could enjoy these moments with others.

And so, as I read that line in the play, it makes me want to tell Estragon, no! We were meant to endure this life together! We were created to live with others. We were created to endure trials and struggles with others. God made us this way for a purpose. So today, enjoy the relationships that God has given you. We were made to be relational. We were made to be relational for a reason, so live in that!

Life and death and love and hate-- how these play out in life

Today in class we watched the movie Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. The movie was very interesting, to say the least. When the movie first came on, I sat back and laughed to myself, wondering what I was going to experience for the next 45 minutes. As the movie progressed I laughed, however at the same time I felt sad for what was going on within this film that seemed somewhat useless.

Throughout the film I began to recognize different things within the movie that we have discussed in class. The theme of life and death was evident, as was the theme or love and hate. This is the theme that has been evident in much of the literature that we have read within this class. I found it interesting that Dr. Horrible felt such intense love for the girl, yet at the same time felt such hate for Dr. Hammer. This shows the common theme of feeling such intense love, that you also feel hate for someone else.

When I think about this theme of hate and love, I begin to ask myself many questions. I ask myself, is it possible to truly love someone, yet at the same time hate someone else? If this is possible, then could the feelings possibly get mixed up? If the person you love upsets you, will you quickly turn the switch and feel hate for them? I do not know the answer to all of these questions, but part of me thinks that it would be difficult to truly separate all of these feelings all of the time. We all have bad days. If there is such extreme hatred within a person, would it be easy for it to turn on people that you do not mean to?

I question myself on these things not because I wish for everyone to be perfect in life. For this would be impossible. I also do not ask these questions to band all hurt. I do, however, challenge you to think about your anger in your life. Is it to the point that it is hateful? Is this hate hurting other people? Because at the point that your hatred begins to hurt those who come in contact with you, who have nothing to do with the hatred in your life, you will begin to hurt people that you never thought you would hurt, just like Dr. Horrible.

the beauty of God, the beauty in nature, and the beauty in His still small voice

I went to Lake Bonny Park for this assignment, and I stayed there for at least fifty minutes. As I walked from my car, I began my journey on the path that winds all the way around the park. As I walked, I began thanking God for the beauty that I saw. This beauty, that I so often take for granted and do not recognize. I enjoyed the heat of the morning sun, as it turned to afternoon and I felt a refreshing, cool breeze as it blew through my hair. As I went on this walk, talking to God, I began asking Him questions about why He had called me so far from home. I continued on the path and looked ahead, only to see a butterfly on the path in front of me. I stopped and squatted down, eager to see the beautiful colors and designs within the wings on the butterfly. As I looked more closely at it, I realized that the butterfly had something wrong with one of its wings. The butterfly was not able to enjoy the beauty of the nature. I sat there for a few minutes, trying to figure out if I could help him at all, but eventually, I slowly walked away.

As I continued to walk down the nature path I began seeing several butterfly’s. I saw big ones and small ones and brown ones and yellow ones. They were all beautiful, but part of what made them beautiful was the way that they were flying and experiencing life. They had freedom, and with that freedom they had wonder, wonders to experience the beauty that God had provided for them. And experience, they did! They flew back in forth, in and out of the bushes, into the grass, and back into the freedom of the air. They had been given freedom, they had been set on a journey of life, and they were experiences everything they could.

As I saw this, God began to speak to me about my life. He challenged me with the thought of what am I doing to experience this new life that He has given me? He challenged me to enjoy the simple moments. Although I may miss my friends and family, I must move on, and I must enjoy the moments that he has given me now and here, in Florida, because I am here for this season and I do not know how long it will last.

My trip to the park was a renewing time. I was renewed in spirit and in soul. I was reminded to never forget the beauty in my first love. I was reminded not to live in the past, not to live in the future, but to live in the present, to live in each moment that God has given me.