The Garden Special Entry

The Garden by Ezra Pound is an amazing piece of work and is something that I view as informative and also inspirational. This is a short Poem begins with something that says, “En robe de parade”. This translates as “dressed for show”. The poem begins by talking about the stature of the primary focus of the poem, a woman. He first describes her as a skein of silk. A Skein, is a length of thread or yarn that is loosely coiled and knotted. He describes the way in which she walks in Kensington Gardens as “… a skein of loose silk blown against a wall She walks by the railing of the path in Kensington Gardens.” The way in which I interpret or envision the way in which this woman is walking is very sluggish and perhaps with little dignity or pride. Could this be a reflection of what she is feeling inside? Could this be a reflection of the way in which others have treated her? I think so.

Next, it states “And she is dying piecemeal of a sort of emotional anemia”. Piecemeal means partially taken over a period of time. As I read this, I believe that Pound is trying to paint the picture of a woman who has slowly had her life taken from her. Perhaps it has been from a sickness, but as I continue to read the poem, I begin to believe that it is not her life that has been slowly taken from her, but her emotions. When is says “a sort of emotional anemia”, I picture a woman who has been completely drained of all energy, and even life. The definition of anemia is a condition marked by the deficiency of red blood cells resulting in pallor and weariness. This woman, who is walking through the Kensington Gardens has been stripped of all emotions and it is leaving her weary and broken.

When I think about this, I wander, what has come over this woman that has brought her to this point in her life? Has the love of her life betrayed her, and left her with nothing to live for? Has all the stability that she has ever felt been swept from her? These are all questions that I ask myself as I read through this poem.

I think that this text needs to be interpreted and looked at closely, in order to fully grasp what the author intended. It would be easy to simply glance over this piece of work and not grasp the underlying theme or message that I believe the author intended for us to grasp.

In the third stanza it says, “In her is the end of breeding. Her boredom is exquisite and excessive. She would like some one to speak to her, And is almost afraid that I will commit that indiscretion.” I would like to focus in on the last two lines. “She would like some one to speak to her, And is almost afraid that I will commit that indiscretion.” I think that this is perhaps the climax of the piece. The point in the poem where the reader understands what point the author is trying to get across. After I read this poem several times, I began to look at what it was saying from a different point of view. As I read this line I began to view this woman that he is referring to as someone who is lonely. I realized that People are lonely or perhaps “different” in the eyes of others, want someone to speak to them, but are somewhat afraid that someone will. They do not what others to see who they really are.

As I realize this, I question myself. I ask myself, who am I noticing that needs love? Who am I noticing that needs attention? Sometimes these are the hardest people to love, and to reach out to. However, most of the time, these are the people who need that love the most. They often do not have hope, they often do not have joy, and they often do not have someone to care about their personal feelings. I ask myself if I am doing anyone to reach out to others. Do I even take the time to begin to notice people who seem discouraged, or alone?

There are people who are just like this woman in this poem, and they encircle us every day. They long for acceptance. They long for love. They long to have someone to talk to them.

As I looked even more into this poem, I began to see something more. Perhaps this particular woman that is being discussed, has a lot of material possessions, but is lacking in something very important, relationships. Perhaps she is rich and sophisticated. Although she has several material objects that fill her life, she feels empty inside. People figure she has relationships in her life, simply because of her outward appearance, and because of this, no one even attempts to get to know her.

As I walk away from reading this poem and conducting this exercise, I walk away with more than simple words that were written down for my enjoyment. I leave with a greater understanding of the feelings of others. Often times when I feel lonely, I figure that I am the only one who ever experiences these feelings. However, in reality, there are people who are feeling lonely that are all around me, every day. Perhaps if I take a moment and begin looking to others, and tried to bless them, then my mind would be removed off myself, and I would begin to bless others.

I must ask myself, who am I noticing that needs attention, who am I noticing that needs love? I must then take these words and transform them into actions.

Who are you blessing today, who really needs it?

I am using my pass today.

Waiting.... on God... Waiting on His voice

During class today, Professor Corrigan presented several things that challenged me to think about my life and my relationship with God. One thing that Professor Corrigan said during his mini lecture was “I take [the text] as an absolutely spiritual text.” He also said, “I see it as those without faith. I also see it as a test of faithfulness. Waiting for god, even when we can’t see God.”

Professor Corrigan left us with the thought, God is already here waiting for us, are we looking for him? When I think about this question, I ask myself, what I think is the greater question at hand. I ask myself whether I am actually taking the time to look for God, within the craziness of life. You see, for me personally, it is usually not an issue of waiting and not seeing God. For me, it is an issue of taking the time to stop. To stop moving, to stop my mind from running, and to stop talking. This, however, is easier said, then done.

I once heard that hope is the ability to listen to the music in the future, and faith is the ability to dance to the music in the present. Within Waiting for Godot I have seen the theme of both hope and of faith. Perhaps it is more of a lack of hope, and a lack of faith that I have seen within the characters of this play. This play definitely has a deeper meaning than it first appears. It seems somewhat worthless when you first begin reading it. It also seems confusing, because you truly do not know what is going on.

However, as I read more into the play, and watch the movie of the play, I can see how the two characters lives, relate to this life that I am living right now. There are times that I feel like I have lost all hope, just like the two characters seem to have done. There are also times that my faithfulness has been put to the test. I have been asked whom I am faithful to, and whom I am loyal to.

This all goes back to trusting and waiting on God, even when I cannot see God. What am I going to do with this life that he has given me? Am I going to wait on him? Am I going to take the time to discover him, and be quiet long enough for him to speak to me? These are all questions that the text Waiting for Godot urges you to ask yourself, and also, to eventually answer.

The end of the story is so unclear, but there is a reason

As I read through the play Waiting for Godot I have been noticing a theme of waiting for the unknown. As a reader, it is somewhat frustrating to not exactly understand what is going on within the story. I have felt very confused, most of the time that I have been reading this play. I do not understand what they are talking about, and I do not understand where everything is leading.

However, as I think about how I feel when I am reading this play, I can easily relate that feeling to life. There is a parallel in reading Waiting for Godot, and life and my relationship with Jesus. I often wander where God is taking me in life, or even why he is taking me a certain way in life. I often wander why God has taken me from Ohio, and lead me all the way down to Florida to attend college. I hate being so far from my family, but this does not take away from the fact that God has called me here, and I am following in obedience.

There are days in which I feel like there is no way that this path is getting me anywhere remotely close to where I want to be. But that is just the thing, it is not about where I want to be. This life is not my own. I don’t want it to be my own, because I would be lost on my own.

So as I read Waiting for Godot and I continue to be confused about what is going on within the story, I also sit with excitement, because the author is not going to leave us hanging. In the end, we will understand why everything was unclear. In the same way, in my life, I sit with excitement, because this journey that God has brought me on is an experience that I will never forget and it is a blessing that I have God leading me on it. At the end of life, I will understand why everything was so unclear throughout my life. As I continue to feel unsure of my next step in life, I will continue to hold tight to the promises that God has given me. For in the end, I believe it will be worth it all.

We were created to be relational beings!!!

While reading through Waiting for Godot, a line at the end of act I stood out to me. This line is when Estragon says, “Wait! I sometimes wonder if we wouldn’t have been better off alone, each one for himself.” This reminds me of something that I have thought about often throughout the past several years.

I know that I am reliant on different people in my life. I am probably too reliant on people at certain times, but either way, I find strength in spending time with others. Even if I am the one pouring into the other person, others fuel me. Company fuels me. Throughout life, however, I have often looked at this as being a weakness. The fact that I rely on someone often stands at to me as being needy, and not independent. Now, to a point, this can be true. We need to have independence, and we need to be able to survive, even if it is just you and God left.

However, as we went through the week in October called Fire Fall, my views on this subject began to change. We began to learn about community, and the importance of community. God created us to be relational people; therefore we should be just that, Relational! Erwin McManus spoke about this and encouraged me. He talked about how we were created to go through this life with others. We were created to have community. We were created to share tears of sadness and tears of joy. We were not supposed to cry on our own. We were not supposed to laugh on our own. God placed others on this earth so that we could enjoy these moments with others.

And so, as I read that line in the play, it makes me want to tell Estragon, no! We were meant to endure this life together! We were created to live with others. We were created to endure trials and struggles with others. God made us this way for a purpose. So today, enjoy the relationships that God has given you. We were made to be relational. We were made to be relational for a reason, so live in that!

Life and death and love and hate-- how these play out in life

Today in class we watched the movie Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. The movie was very interesting, to say the least. When the movie first came on, I sat back and laughed to myself, wondering what I was going to experience for the next 45 minutes. As the movie progressed I laughed, however at the same time I felt sad for what was going on within this film that seemed somewhat useless.

Throughout the film I began to recognize different things within the movie that we have discussed in class. The theme of life and death was evident, as was the theme or love and hate. This is the theme that has been evident in much of the literature that we have read within this class. I found it interesting that Dr. Horrible felt such intense love for the girl, yet at the same time felt such hate for Dr. Hammer. This shows the common theme of feeling such intense love, that you also feel hate for someone else.

When I think about this theme of hate and love, I begin to ask myself many questions. I ask myself, is it possible to truly love someone, yet at the same time hate someone else? If this is possible, then could the feelings possibly get mixed up? If the person you love upsets you, will you quickly turn the switch and feel hate for them? I do not know the answer to all of these questions, but part of me thinks that it would be difficult to truly separate all of these feelings all of the time. We all have bad days. If there is such extreme hatred within a person, would it be easy for it to turn on people that you do not mean to?

I question myself on these things not because I wish for everyone to be perfect in life. For this would be impossible. I also do not ask these questions to band all hurt. I do, however, challenge you to think about your anger in your life. Is it to the point that it is hateful? Is this hate hurting other people? Because at the point that your hatred begins to hurt those who come in contact with you, who have nothing to do with the hatred in your life, you will begin to hurt people that you never thought you would hurt, just like Dr. Horrible.

the beauty of God, the beauty in nature, and the beauty in His still small voice

I went to Lake Bonny Park for this assignment, and I stayed there for at least fifty minutes. As I walked from my car, I began my journey on the path that winds all the way around the park. As I walked, I began thanking God for the beauty that I saw. This beauty, that I so often take for granted and do not recognize. I enjoyed the heat of the morning sun, as it turned to afternoon and I felt a refreshing, cool breeze as it blew through my hair. As I went on this walk, talking to God, I began asking Him questions about why He had called me so far from home. I continued on the path and looked ahead, only to see a butterfly on the path in front of me. I stopped and squatted down, eager to see the beautiful colors and designs within the wings on the butterfly. As I looked more closely at it, I realized that the butterfly had something wrong with one of its wings. The butterfly was not able to enjoy the beauty of the nature. I sat there for a few minutes, trying to figure out if I could help him at all, but eventually, I slowly walked away.

As I continued to walk down the nature path I began seeing several butterfly’s. I saw big ones and small ones and brown ones and yellow ones. They were all beautiful, but part of what made them beautiful was the way that they were flying and experiencing life. They had freedom, and with that freedom they had wonder, wonders to experience the beauty that God had provided for them. And experience, they did! They flew back in forth, in and out of the bushes, into the grass, and back into the freedom of the air. They had been given freedom, they had been set on a journey of life, and they were experiences everything they could.

As I saw this, God began to speak to me about my life. He challenged me with the thought of what am I doing to experience this new life that He has given me? He challenged me to enjoy the simple moments. Although I may miss my friends and family, I must move on, and I must enjoy the moments that he has given me now and here, in Florida, because I am here for this season and I do not know how long it will last.

My trip to the park was a renewing time. I was renewed in spirit and in soul. I was reminded to never forget the beauty in my first love. I was reminded not to live in the past, not to live in the future, but to live in the present, to live in each moment that God has given me.

relationships in life... relationships with God...

“A few words together and don’t try to make them elaborate, this isn’t a contest but the doorway”. This line that is found in the middle of the poem Praying by Mary Oliver stands out to me. As Mary Oliver begins to simplify prayer and express what prayer is supposed to be, she makes it clear that big words are not necessary. I love the last line in which she’s says “into thanks, and a silence in which another voice may speak.” I think that this is a vital thing to remember when you are praying and seeking after God’s voice in your life. There are times within prayer that we need to simply sit back, be quiet and listen. Whether the Lord speaks to us or not, does not validate whether we should be still in the presence of God. It is simply a matter of realizing the greatness of God and being open to His voice. Sometimes we will hear his voice, and sometimes we will simply experience a moment of peace. But that moment of peace could be exactly what we needed.

While we were discussing this in class, the discussion of what prayer should look like come up. I would like to repeat the quote that I said at the beginning of this blog. “A few words together and don’t try to make them elaborate, this isn’t a contest but the doorway”. I think that it is important to remember that in praying we are simply conversing with the God of the universe. I think that we often forget that we are in a relationship. Within relationships, you will face times in which you will simply sit and say nothing to each other. Although this is not the case all the time, I think that in our society today we often put prayer in a box. We do not allow it to be expressed in different ways. Relationships are made of different things, and I think that within relationships there are times for words and there are times for silence. I believe that there are times for laughing and there are times for crying. I believe there are times of need and there are times of thanksgiving. Shouldn’t our relationship with God be that of the same kind? I believe that it is time for Christians today to stop praying simply to say they have prayed, and instead begin to embark on a relationship that changes the way you view everything in life.

loving our environment

In class today we discussed the powerful affect that nature has on a person, as well as the way that Robert Hass studied nature in the poem “State of the Planet”. As we watched the different videos that were shown while we were in class, I was once again, left in awe of God’s wonderful creation that he put on earth for His enjoyment. Even though He put it here for Himself, I still cannot help but enjoy the beautiful trees, the gorgeous flowers, and the ocean as it slams against the shore. I do believe that it is important to recognize that God created nature and we need to be good stewards of what he has created.

What Professor Corrigan said in class is correct. He said, “It doesn’t make any sense that atheists care more about this earth than Christians do.” We as Christians believe that God created the heavens and the earth and all of the inhabitants within it. This is why it does not make sense that we would not care to take care of it. For if we truly cared about our God, wouldn’t we care about the things that he made?

However, I also see a different side to this subject that I want to make very clear. I believe in taking care of our ecosystem and our environment, but I also believe that there is a fine line that can be crossed in which people get overly protective of nature. The reason I bring up this point is because I believe that Jesus first came to earth to love people, not the soil beneath them. I am very passionate about helping people and I think that should be our priority. Although I believe taking care of the earth is important, I do not think that people should be neglected. For example, there are hundreds of thousands of children in China that are orphaned. This is in China alone. These people, these children need help, they need love.

Although our environment and ecosystem is very important, we must ask ourselves a very important question. Am I focusing on the ecosystem more than I am focusing on people? What is it that God has called us to do first? I for one believe that I have first been called to love others.

The Garden reflection

While we were reading the poem The Garden in class yesterday, I enjoyed analyzing the poem. The first time that we read the poem, I didn’t quite understand what the poem was saying. However, as we read it several times and practiced Lectio Divina I was able to analyze different parts of the poem and pick apart what we believe the author was trying to portray. Different phrases that stood out to me were “She is dying piecemeal of a sort of emotional anemia”. Another phrase that stood out to me was “She would like some one to speak to her”. This stood out to me and made me ask myself what I am noticing about the needs of others? I asked myself whether I am noticing people that need attention or that need love. This challenges me in my everyday life to look out for people who seem lonely or need someone to talk to. I hate the feeling of loneliness. I think that everyone does. But the question I must ask myself is, do I only care when I am lonely, or do I care when someone else is feeling lonely also?

Another question that was pressed on my heart while reading this poem is how I feel about social classes in our society. Do I base my opinion of someone simply on what social class they belong to? A line in the poem that sticks out to me is “…And is almost afraid that I will commit that indiscretion.” This may seem somewhat silly to us that talking to someone would be considered an “indiscretion”, but do I speak to people, even if it could potentially turn into an awkward conversation? Do I love people the way that my Jesus would love them? This is a question that I think is important for everyone to answer.

While we read Professor Corrigan’s reflection on the poem I was amazed by the way in which he interpreted the poem. It was an amazing paper that was written, very insightful, and very thought provoking. I thought it was interesting how he related the poem to the situation that was going on in his own life at the time, with his wife. I don’t think I would have related it to something like that, but that is the beauty of interpreting literature and the difference in everyone’s opinions. It was a very good essay and I would like to be able to write like that some day.

The enemy of the people

The Enemy of the People was an interesting play. I always enjoy going to watch the plays, as I was in theater myself, when I was in high school. This play was very different than I expected, but I enjoyed watching it. I loved the issue that was portrayed throughout the entire play. Doctor Thomas Stockmann was presented with an issue within the city that he knew needed to be fixed, so that people were able to stop getting sick. The fact that Doctor Stockmann stood up for himself and challenged the people of the town shows that he was a strong man, willing to stand up for his convictions.

I love the fact that he was willing to fight in order for justice to be made. I think that there are several people in our world that have strong religious and political beliefs, but they are not willing to really stand true to there beliefs and fight for justice. We need people that are willing to sacrifice, whatever is necessary in order for justice to reign. If you are not willing to give up something, for the cause that you are supporting, then I will ask you, how much do you actually believe in this cause that you support. I believe that you can say that you believe in something, but until you make a sacrifice for that cause, the importance of it is not evident in your life.

This play showed me that I should never be afraid to stand up for what is right, no matter how many people are against me. Just like Doctor Thomas said towards the end of the play, everyone was against Jesus, yet he was still right. Just because the majority is against you, does not mean that you are wrong. This gives me the perseverance and the strength needed to stand up for the things that are right in our culture, and not let things slip by. For if we, the Christians, do not stand up, then who will?

I am using my pass for Thursday, October 15

The muffins she carried

She didn’t look excited to get somewhere, however, she also didn’t look frustrated that she wasn’t getting somewhere. The look at her face was determined, yet at the same time peaceful, taking in every breath as she walked briskly, putting one foot in front of another. In her hands set a stack of books, and on top of the books, a plate full of muffins. She was dressed nicely, wearing high heels, and a skirt. She efficiently passed a couple that was walking slowly, holding hands, both of them looking serious and not talked with one another. She was on her way to her first day at a new job. Oh, but this wasn’t just any old job. This job, this was her dream job. She had worked several places before, you know, little jobs here in there, just to make sure the ends met, but with this job, she was finally doing what she had dreamed of doing for so many years.

Teaching. It was finally her first day teaching on a college campus. Her thoughts were going wild with things that could go well, things that could go bad, but mostly she couldn’t stop thinking of what her favorite college professor always used to tell her. He would say, “Do what you can to develop relationships with your students, because after the class, they will not be your students, but they may be your friends.”

You see, her professor so easily said that, but how did this actually look? She continued to ponder this as she made her way towards the building where her first class would begin, a mere twenty minutes later. She carried muffins, which she planned on giving to her first morning class. Every college student likes home made food right? Especially when they are away from home for such a long time. But was she bribing them to like her, she asked herself.

She was tired of always being late. Her two-year-old had kept her awake merely half the night—and then, this morning when it was time for her to go to Grandmas, did she want to get up? No. It is as though she knows when to, and when not to sleep, and how much it will get on my nerves.

Keep your focus on what you are getting ready to do, she told herself as she entered the classroom in which her 9 o’clock class met. She had organized everything the night before, where her classes were meeting, the amount of time she would need. Oddly enough, she felt more nervous than she ever felt in her entire elementary, middle school, high school, and college career. Why was it like this? When finally given the opportunity to do what she dreamed of doing, she is the most nervous she has felt in years. As the door shuts behind her in the classroom, a door shuts inside her heart, blocking out all past experiences and insecurities that could hold her back.

She lays the muffins on the table, organizing the napkins in a separate pile. She gazed at the clock in the back of the room and realized that there was only five minutes left before class was supposed to begin. How many students were in the classroom? None. Her heart began to beat quickly as she opened her notebook, checking to make sure that she was in the correct building, on the correct floor, and in the correct room. Sure enough, everything checked out, she was where she was supposed to be. But where was her class?

At the college she attended, being tardy to class was a big deal. Her motto was, if you can’t learn to be responsible in the little things in life, you will never learn how to be responsible for the big things in life.

Two minutes pass, two more minutes pass, two more minutes pass. She glances up at the clock yet again. Only two after nine, she thinks to herself, as she peels the plastic wrap off of the muffins. An aroma of fresh blueberry’s overtake her senses as she pulls a blueberry muffin off the plate and takes a seat. As she looks out across the empty classroom, a single tear trickles down her face.

She begins to realize that her baby girl is with her grandma, growing up so quickly, and she is not even able to see the process. Why did I choose to work anyway, she thinks to herself. Yes, I love to teach, but what I love even more is spending time with my family. Engulfed in thought and emotion, she doesn’t even realize that a figure has entered the room, and sat in the desk before her. She suddenly looks up. “Oh, I didn’t even see you,” she says.

He didn’t say anything, just looked at her closely. It was almost as though he could see right inside her. Finally, after a few minutes he says, “You aren’t supposed to be here, go home to your baby.” As she sits, looking into the eyes of this peculiar person who sat before her, she almost begins to chuckle to herself. She thinks to herself, what does he know about me? She simply sits there, not saying anything. She wanders why anyone would ever come into her class and tell her, the professor, that she isn’t supposed to be there. Isn’t the professor supposed to do that? At least that’s how it happened when I was in school, she thinks to herself.

“Wah Wah Wah”…she sits up quickly in bed, looking over only to see her husband still sound asleep. She stubbles out of her room and into her two-year old daughters room. As she picks up the baby that she holds so dear to her heart, she realizes that she could never let her go. Thoughts of teaching come to her mind and she realizes that this is the only thing in which she was made to be…teach and be a homemaker. After she rocks her little girl to sleep and slowly lays her back into her bed. She makes her way down to her computer. Turning on Microsoft word, she begins typing:

“I’m sorry to inform you that after 25 years my teaching days have come to an end…”

Strength is made perfect in weakness

This week as we had our "read on your own days" I was reading in the Giver about Jonas. Jonas is assigned a task different than anyone else in their town of perfection. His job is harder than anyone else's job, because he is the one who has to remember all of the good and bad memories of the town. This got me thinking about life and how it is through the struggles in life that we are formed into something greater. If our lived truly were perfect, I don't believer we would ever grow, because there would be nothing to grow into. As I thought about this I began to think about struggles in life, and how if you look at them the right way, you will begin to see them as blessings in disguise.

When you get ready to shoot a bow and arrow you adjust it just right and then stretch the bow back as far as you possibly can, in order for it to fly as far as you want it to fly. I have found that this is exactly what happens in our life, if we allow God to be a part of who we are. The more that we are stretched, the farther we will soar. But being stretched is not the most comfortable position to be put in. We like to feel comfortable, to sit down relax, and know exactly what we have coming our way. However, if we were able to see everything that was going to happen in our lives, we probably would either try to get out of it, or run in the opposite direction. This is why God only gives us exactly what he knows we are able to handle, which is a lot more than we think.

I hate being stretched, during the time that it is happening to me. However, after the situation is over, I realize that it is only because I went through a hard time, that I am able to say that I have gotten to this new place in my walk with the Lord. My story, my life would not be the same without the times that I felt like giving up. It is through the trials in my life, that I have been able to help other people through their struggles that are similar to mine. God somehow always has a way of putting those people in your life. The only thing that we need to stick to when we are in the midst of a struggle is God’s precious word. For in God’s word, truth is held.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Museum

Today on our field trip to the art museum I found myself bombarded with different thoughts. As we proceeded to go to the upstairs section of the art museum, I found myself standing before pictures that would change the way I view our world, for the rest of my life. On the wall were separate photographs, each taken of a different family in a different country in front of their “house”. Also in the picture, there were the possessions of the families that were standing there. Next to the picture it explained how many people lived in the house, the amount of hours they worked a week, the amount of income the family made, there most values possession, their most desired possession and other odd facts such as how much food in their culture cost.

As I looked at these different situations of each family I was very sobered. After looking at many of the pictures, I came to America. There was a huge difference in the picture of America, in comparison to some of the other nations.

Seeing this section in the museum brought back my memories of traveling to Nicaragua and El Salvador on mission’s trips. I am still convinced that I left a little bit of my heart in both countries. Some day, I hope to go back and pick up some of it, but I doubt I will be able to come back to the states without leaving even more of my heart. That is just the thing, when we look at others through the eyes that Jesus sees others, we begin to give some of our heart to them, whether we mean to or not.

I thoroughly enjoyed the field trip to the art museum. I particularly, as mentioned before, enjoyed going upstairs and viewing those pictures. Often times we tuck the memories that mean the most to us, deep down into our hearts. It is times like this, that I realize my memories of my missions in Central America will never leave me, because I have them tucked deep down. What I must do is bring those memories to the surface more often, because they make my heart come alive.

The muffins she carried

She didn’t look excited to get somewhere, however, she also didn’t look frustrated that she wasn’t getting somewhere. The look at her face was determined, yet at the same time peaceful, taking in every breath as she walked briskly, putting one foot in front of another. In her hands set a stack of books, and on top of the books, a plate full of muffins. She was dressed nicely, wearing high heels, and a skirt. She efficiently passed a couple that was walking slowly, holding hands, both of them looking serious and not talked with one another. She was on her way to her first day at a new job. Oh, but this wasn’t just any old job. This job, this was her dream job. She had worked several places before, you know, little jobs here in there, just to make sure the ends met, but with this job, she was finally doing what she had dreamed of doing for so many years.

Teaching. It was finally her first day teaching on a college campus. Her thoughts were going wild with things that could go well, things that could go bad, but mostly she couldn’t stop thinking of what her favorite college professor always used to tell her. He would say, “Do what you can to develop relationships with your students, because after the class, they will not be your students, but they may be your friends.”

You see, her professor so easily said that, but how did this actually look? She continued to ponder this as she made her way towards the building where her first class would begin, a mere twenty minutes later. She carried muffins, which she planned on giving to her first morning class. Every college student likes home made food right? Especially when they are away from home for such a long time. But was she bribing them to like her, she asked herself.

(To be continued)

"The Traveling Onion"

Today as we read the poem The Traveling Onion I began to look at poetry in a new way. The first time that I read the poem I really did not like the poem. What I wrote on my paper was “I don’t understand its significance.” I also thought that it was humorous, but that was before I looked deeper into what the poem was trying to say. The second time that I read it I picked out a few different lines. One line that I picked out was “for the sake of others disappear.” Another line that I picked was “and I would never scold the onion for causing tears.” I like that line because I believe that it allows room for emotion. I think that was it is trying to say is that it is okay to cry. It is normal that an onion makes a person cry, and it is okay for those tears to fall. A lot of times we make ourselves feel like we cannot fully let our emotion out, but it is okay for certain things to make us cry.

This brings me to my next point. I love the line that says “it is right that tears fall for something small and forgotten.” This line makes me evaluate my life in a deeper way. One of my favorite worship songs is Hosanna. My favorite line in that song is “break my heart for what breaks yours.” This line is the cry of my heart. If my heart can truly be broken for the things that break my Jesus’ heart, then I will begin, in a very small way, to see from His point of view. The line that says “it is right that tears call for something small and forgotten” remind me of this song. I believe that Jesus’ tears fall for the small and the forgotten. If my heart can begin to see things in the way that Jesus sees things I believe that I will cry for the things that are small and forgotten.

Lectio Divina

Lectio Divina. This is a powerful process. It is the process in which you go from simply reading something to focusing on it in an in-depth way, engaging you mind, your heart, your soul, and your time. This practice called Lectio Divina is not about how MUCH you read, but it is more about the WAY in which you read it. When reading scripture, it is easy to get caught up in how much we read. However, what is the use in reading a lot of scripture, if you are not able to recall anything that you have read. This “large” amount of reading that you have read quickly becomes insignificant, because it is not being evoked in your every day life. This is why I think that Lectio Divina is a great practice to use. After practicing Lectio Divina, it is merely impossible to leave the text without challenging yourself with something more.

While reading the text today, during class, and practicing Lectio Divina as a group, the quote “Sonney’s fingers filled the air with life, his life” caught my eye. As I wrote down the line, as one to remember and think upon, I began asking myself some very important questions. I began asking myself what I am filling the air with? Am I bringing life or death to other people? Am I bringing encouragement or destruction to the lives of those that I come in contact with? This is an important question to ask. Christ, He came to bring life, and life He brought! Not only life in the way that we see life, but life as in eternal life! Something that was unheard of before Jesus came. If I am truly supposed to be like Christ, then won’t my life bring life to others, just like Christ brings life to us?

This in class assignment was a great practice, and I believe that it is something that we should practice in our personal lives very often.

The picture that I painted during class today was on a topic that I happen to already happen to be very passionate about. In Joel 2 it says, “It will come about after this that I will pour out My Spirit on all mankind; and our sons and daughters will prophesy, Your old men will dream dreams, Your young men will see visions.” This is the verse which inspired me to paint my picture today. I am very passionate about dreaming big dreams. I believe that God has called us to dream big, and I believe that God has put specific dreams in each of His children’s heart. I believe that these dreams were not meant to be set aside and left for later in life, but I believe that God wants us to grab hold of those dreams and make them reality. For my painting, I first painted many clouds. Then in the middle I wrote dream. The clouds simply remind me of dreaming. Then around the clouds I wrote the word vision several times. This in-class activity was wonderful for me and very enjoyable. I was able to express what stood out to me in the text, in a different way. The Word of God is so powerful, but I believe it is easy to skip over important parts if we do not consciously tell ourselves to zoom into different things. This is why I enjoyed this project so much. I was able to zoom into a certain part of the scripture and meditate on it in a different way than I have ever done before. This allows me to not only understand the scripture in a different way, but also allows me to carry something with me, away from the experience in order to remember what I learned from reading the scripture. This activity was an amazing thing for me, and quite Spiritual.

The essence of literature

While reading Joel during class today, I was able to enjoy nature while reading the Word of the Lord out loud. I believe that reading aloud allowed me to feel the emotion in a different way than when I simply read the scriptures to myself. Reading aloud seems to help me to realize different tones and allows me to tap into the emotion that can be portrayed through literature. Emotion. Tone. Emotion and tone are vital, not only in reading literature, but also in understanding the place in which the literature is coming from. I can simply say something with no excitement and absolutely no enthusiasm and it would allow you to think of me different than if I said it with excitement, and joy within my voice. Tone, and emotion allow you to see different into a person. This tone and emotion is a lot easier to recognize when you read the passage aloud. Although this tone and emotion can differ from one person to another, this is what makes reading literature so different from watching a play, or a movie, or listening to music. When you read literature, you are able to somewhat create what the literature is trying to say. This can differ from person to person and allows literature to be quite complex. The idea that a piece of literature can carry a complete different tone or emotion from one person to the other is an amazing thing. This is what makes literature so unique from any other entertainment outlet. Literature allows you to put your own personality, and your own imagination within what you are reading. Literature also allows you to, in a way, write a portion of the story yourself. You are able to imagine the scenery, the area in which the literature is happening, and the feelings in which the characters are experiencing. Literature is, indeed, a special thing, a thing in which ten people can read one piece, and get ten separate interpretations out of it.

Death

Where will you go and what will they say

When you take your last breathe, on your last day.

Who will send flowers, and who will cry?

Will many not care? Will only some ask why?

Will the treasures you stored up, be left here, on earth?

And was your time spent with others, heavenly birthed?

What was most important? Your status, your prize?

Was the time that you spent foolish, or wise?

Some never comprehend that the impressions they leave,

Have the power to bring life, or to simply deceive.

But what are they thinking? Now that your dead, do you care?

Do you look back on your life and simply say, “Life, it’s not fair”?

Cause now is your chance, don’t miss it again.

You’ve been given life, be careful, let me explain.

Life is a gift, don’t ever forget.

Don’t stop living early, or you’re sure to regret

So remember today, you aren’t promised tomorrow

Or even the next day, or the day after to follow.

So live in every moment, take in every breath

Because there is nothing to fear, no, not even death.

-Mikelle Liette

September 17, 2009

When we were walking around the cemetery I found several little children’s tombstone. This was a sobering feeling and made me realize that we are not promised another day. Each day is a gift, so why do we take each day for granted so often? Cemetery’s, they are so dark, yet they are full of people whom once were filled with so much life. This is proof that life can be taken from us so quickly, in just a blink of an eye.

So today, what am I doing to live life to the fullest? Am I living in every moment, or am I simply trying to get through the day and make it to the weekend. The fact of the matter is, I may not make it to the weekend, so what am I going to do today, to live with energizing life?

EACH DAY IS A GIFT…UNTIE THE RIBBON.

"When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Boom'd"

a. A. Some of my favorite lines in “When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom’d” is “…All over bouquets of roses, O death, I cover you over with roses and early lilies, But mostly and now the lilac that blooms the first, Copious I break, I break the sprigs from the bushes, With loaded arms I come, pouring for you, For you and the coffins all of you, O death.)” These lines are confusing to me, but I am trying to pull something out of them. What I am seeing is that she is coming with full hands towards this deathbed, towards this coffin. Yet once she gets there, there is nothing to give back to her. She is giving her emotion, her flowers, bringing arms full towards this person who has died, yet she receives nothing back in return.

b. B. A way that I can personally relate to this text is actually something that I have been thinking about this week and talking to my roommate about. When I think about losing anyone who I am close with, it scares me, and I don’t know how I will survive. However, this poem is very straight-forward with death. This poem illustrates the emptiness that happens when death happens. I have realized in my life the importance of not relying on other human beings to support me. I need to rely on the Lord, because He will never fail me. Humans will always disappoint, but God is a faithful and steady source of strength.

c. C. Through researching this poem I found that it was a series of poems written after President Lincoln’s assassination. Through this poem, I believe he is trying to find a proper way to mourn a public figures death. Because he is referring to the Civil War times, I believe that he is also referring to mourning President Lincoln’s death.

http://www.sparknotes.com/poetry/whitman/section7.rhtml

"Where is God when the world is falling to pieces?"

When I thought about what to blog about after today’s class, I looked back at the poetry and the discussion that took place in class and I realize that there is so much pain going on in our world today. In Professor Corrigan’s piece that he wrote he states, “…Where is God when the world is falling to pieces”. Though this is an important question for all of us to sit on, the more important question that I have to ask myself is, how am I going to change the fact that the world is falling to pieces? The fact that children are dying in other countries of starvation and disease breaks my heart. But what are WE DOING TO CHANGE THIS?

4 years ago my family embarked on a journey that changed our lives forever, the adoption of my baby sister from China. After many years of waiting, Sasha was finally brought home and I finally got to take this precious gem that I carried in my heart for almost 3 years into my arms and love her. Last Thanksgiving, our second Thanksgiving celebration with our precious Sasha, I wrote this poem about her:

I always wanted a sister

To play with and have fun

I never knew in 18 years

My dream would finally come

I knew that she would look like me

Blonde hair and blue eyes too

But the little one God sent to us

Was not what I thought I knew

This little ones eyes were not like mine

They weren't big, blue and round

But small, dark, and almond shaped

Are the little eyes I found

This little one that is my sister

She came from afar

She didn't come unhurt and clean

But rather with many scars

I did not wait only 9 short months

And shed just a few tears.

For I cried many days and nights

And waited almost 3 long years.

But once that baby was in my arms

I knew she was finally safe

She not only got a warm place to sleep

But more than that, a family we gave.

So as I sit here and think

Holding this angel of mine

I realize that 4 years ago

This was just a small dream, in the back of my mind.

And I realize more each and every day

These dreams are meant to be

Lived out in our everyday lives

For us and others to see

So the next time you lose a dream

And shove it to the back of your mind

Dig for that dream, look for it again

For it is something you must find

Maybe these dreams are not to be left

Forgotten, and set aside

Perhaps God gave us these dreams

As a very special guide

For my dream may have seemed small

Or impossible to meet

But because this little dream in my heart

Our family is finally complete.

-Mikelle Liette

November 29, 2008

You see, it is easy to get overwhelmed with all of the darkness in our world. We have the desire to make a difference, but often, because the darkness seems so impossible to fix, we merely sit back, and watch destruction happen before our very eyes, just like Allen Ginsberg demonstrated in his poem “Howl”.

So my question to you, is what does your heart break for, and what how are YOU going to begin to heal that pain in someone else’s life?

As I read and tried to work through what was happening in The Colonel during class today, I found myself confused. I wrestled through questioning whether they were at war, or whether the people of this country were living under a dictatorship. I was excited when Professor Corrigan announced this piece of literature and said that he thought it took place in Nicaragua. This allowed me to feel more connected to what I was reading because I have done missions work in Nicaragua on two separate occasions. At the beginning of the piece the description of the atmosphere resonate deep within my soul. When I left Nicaragua and came back and spoke in front of several groups at church and school, I kept saying, “I left part of my heart in Nicaragua.” In the piece of literature it says, “Broken bottles were embedded in the walls around the house to scoop the kneecaps from a mans legs or cut his hands to lace.” This is the exact picture that I got when I was in Nicaragua. For protection in their houses, the people literally embed broken bottles on the top of the cement walls surrounding their houses in order to keep people from climbing over the walls and breaking into their house. This just shows me the poverty that people in other countries are living in every day. We take so much for granted living in the United States. We truly do no know how much we are blessed until we go and see how other people are living, or have our blessings taken away. Although this piece of literature was not centered on the culture in which it took place. I think it is important to understand the culture in which our literature is taking place. Every culture is so extremely different, that it is vital that we learn, explore, experience, within the literature, where the people and situations are coming from. I think that it will make the literature come alive within us.

In the story, “The Things They Carried”, he discusses many random things, yet they all somehow fit together. He talks about the things that he and other soldiers are carrying. He begins, giving us a slight opening into his heart and is life. He talks about the letters that Martha had sent him. He talks about how they were simple words about her life at the college she was attending, “Mount Sebastian”. However, these letters never even began to hint at the fact that she was interested in him, as much as he was interested in her. He then goes on describing the other things that were necessities for soldiers to carry. He discusses the importance of lighters, matches, sewing kits, and other random things such as those. He also discusses the different things that different soldiers have to carry, such as doctors, as opposed to lieutenants. To me the story actually seemed very random until the very end when it all seems to come together. He has realized all along that Martha does not love him and that Martha was living in another world and thinking about other things. He goes on to talk about how many of the soldiers carry different things inside. Though they carried many things, knifes and matches, on the outside of their bodies, the inside, their hearts, looked completely different. He states, “The things men carried inside.” This in not only true of the men in the story but is true of all men, of all mankind, actually. We all have junk on the inside that we are carrying with us, and the more we let it build up, the more angry and upset we get with ourselves and with the world. I’m not sure if this is the point that he was trying to make with the story, but I think that it is definitely something that I pulled from the story and was able to apply to my own life and experiences.

"What We Talk About When We Talk About Love"

The short story What We Talk About When We Talk About Love comes to a close with these words. “I could hear my heart beating. I could hear everyone’s heart. I could hear the human noise we sat there making, not one of us moving, not even when the room went dark.” Although throughout the story, the two couples discuss love, it is not until the last few lines that meaning comes to the story. Mel and Terry are married to each other and they both have had previous spouses. Nick (the narrator) and Laura, however, have been married for only eight-teen months and are still accused of being in the honeymoon stage of their marriage. As they discuss this topic of love, they are drinking gin, and gradually getting drunk. They discuss their different opinions in what love is. Terry believes that her ex-husband loved her. Mel, however, disagrees that he was in love with Terry because he actually threatened to shoot them both! There discussion goes back and forth for quite a while as they continue to drink gin. It is obvious by how swiftly the conversation changes topics that they have drank a little too much gin. There are a few times that they even repeat what they are saying and no one even recognizes it in the story. While reading it I became confused because although the narrator is always present, it is not clear whether he is a boy or a girl. Because Mel and Terry are both names that could qualify for both genders, it caused me to question whom was married to who. As the short story comes to an end, the words that are said bring meaning and purpose to the story. Darkness and stillness come over the room because they realize that their lives are the way that they have always been and they still are yet to experience true love. Their lives will always be empty and dark, and their Gin was gone, therefore, they will not have anything to cover up the pain any longer.

My name is Mikelle Liette and I am a Public Relations major at SEU. I have a dream to someday work for a non-profit organization as their public relations representative. I have a heart for missions and for children struggling for survival in other countries and I desire for others to see how these children are living, and to do something about it.

Some of my earliest memories of literature were from when I was a little girl. I have grown up in a Christian home, and some of the earliest things I remember being read to me, is the truth from the Bible. I also remember being read to before I went to sleep at night and the characters coming alive to me. I could feel the joy that the characters were portraying, but I could also feel the pain that they felt at times. At a very young age, I began feeling an emotional connection to the things that were read to me. I remember one book that my mom read to me was about a kitten getting lost. I used to cry every time we read that book, because I connected with the book in such a strong way.

Some of my most recent experiences with literature are the books that I have been reading this summer. I have read some books about society, but most of my summer readings have been the Left Behind series. I have felt very engaged in these books and have learned so much about what is going to happen in the end times. I am also reading a book about John, the beloved disciple. This is informing me about John and the life that he lived, side by side with Jesus. This is teaching me how to serve, how to leave my family, and how to dedicate my whole self to the benefit of the gospel.

Some of the most significant texts that I have read are personal letters written just to me. People who are close to my heart and have touched my heart in a very special way have written these. These include letters from friends and family alike. Although they may have only a few words, they have blessed my life more than I could have ever thought.

Literature is such an authentic way to express yourself. It is often discussed that one can write something that he would never say. This is often looked at as a negative thing, however it can also be such a blessing. Literature matters because it portrays a message, yet sometimes requires imagination in order to fully understand the tone and feeling within the message. Literature has the power to change people’s life, even in just a few short words.